This VALENTINES DAY, why not give the gift of “You?”

Avoid these turn offs and turn on the love!

It’s Valentine’s Day-–and for lovers its Christmas Day in February, but for all the singletons, I say better luck next year (maybe Mr/Ms Right just got locked down). 

Photo by Jesse Goll on Unsplash

Whether you’ve been a couple for several years or just started a new relationship, in the context of the current pandemic, this Valentine’s Day 2021 might definitely be a unique one.

Times have indeed changed and those lockdowns made things even more unusual—including the way we find love and handle relationships.  

Long-time couples who’ve been used to their routine of just seeing each other mostly after work and in the evenings found themselves together 24/7 during the quarantine months—which as it turned out–wasn’t always a good thing.

And for those who are still reeling with excitement from a newfound love, not being able to see each other when they want to—and being in an LDR—Lock Down Relationship–also has its share of challenges—it could either give them a sense of longing and bring them closer together or put out what once was a fiery desire.

So this Valentines Day, the most romantic day of the year, will play a big role in your relationship. 

I’m no expert on the game of love, but I do know this: if you want to play the game, you’d better know the rules and to keep the game going, you should know how to turn your partner on.

Because more than those roses, chocolates, jewelry or gadgets–the best gift you could give your partner is the gift of “You.”


As John Legend so clearly sang:

Cause all of me, Loves all of you,

Love your curves and all your edges

All your perfect imperfections

I’ve searched the internet and here’s what I found:


1. Being an Active listener

2. Be smart and confident

3. Be polite

4. A nice smile and a good sense of humor

5. Know how to do housework

6. Playing with her hair and massage

7. Good grooming 


1. Smell of food cooking

2. Being affectionate

3. Dressing nice

4. Being physically fit

5. Making me feel appreciated 

6. Confidence 

7. Cleanliness and good grooming

And those are just the non-sensual stuff. Now for the Rated-R part.

The THREE WORDS THEY WANT TO HEAR:  While neck kisses and eye contact are among the biggest turn-ons in bed to get you in the mood, there’s three little words that drive lovers wild—and its not “I LOVE YOU.”

According to a survey simply saying the words “I LIKE THAT” is the second most effective way to ramp up the mood—the first? We’ll talk about the first later.

Respondents say they like it when their partner gives them a little verbal reassurance in bed.

Another turn on is nibbling on the ear while making eye contact during the act was something that also got people going.

Being teased was also one thing women liked more than men, just as undressing their partner, but as for going down on their partners— men are more likely to enjoy doing it than women unless there’s something that’s not right. 

Knowing how to turn on your partner, however, is a lot easier than discovering what turns them off. Not all couples are willing to talk about it out of respect or maybe they are too embarrassed to mention it. Are you turning your partner off without even knowing it? 

If you want to remain in your relationship for the long haul, you’ll need to do your best to make sure you’re not engaging in behaviors that may be sabotaging your chances for success. Even if you’re in a long-term, committed relationship, it doesn’t mean you can just do whatever you want and it will be fine. 

It’s important to watch your behavior and make sure to keep the passion alive by treating each other as well as you did when you first met. 

Here are some of the major turn offs in bed that you should avoid at all cost.

1.Talking about an ex during sex: Talking about an ex-lover is often one of the most taboo topics and can be extremely annoying to your partner when you are having sex. No partner wants to know what and how their “soulmates” did with their exes. Its not only a cause of It will only create a huge rift between the two of you and also cause a big dent in your relationship.

2. Playing too hard to get. Saying no is completely okay, but playing hard to get even though you clearly want it too can be a big turn off.  Giving off mixed signals ruins the mood. Just tell your partner what you want or if you. Wag Maarte.

3. Too much talk. Communication is key to a good sex, but constant yapping about things that have nothing to do with your partner or the moment of sex can really turn off your partner. A bit of sweet talk is nice but know when to shut up.

4. Being lazy in bed. It takes two to tango especially when you are doing it horizontally. Unless you are role-playing as mannequin, don’t let your partner do everything. Although there are moments when you just want to be on the receiving end, make sure you are ready to the same when it’s your turn to do the action.

5. By the numbers. One to sex. The realm of sex is beyond imagination. While you may think you have unveiled everything that pertains to sex, there is so much more that remains unexplored. You might have become so comfortable with a particular position, but doing it by the numbers can make sex lose its magic and your partner lose interest and encourage them to do some searching—and I’m not talking about Google. 

6. Poor hygiene. The one common thing that turns both men and women on is good hygiene so its no surprise that its also the thing that is an instant turn of. Make an effort to take care of your body. Keep your nails, hair, and body clean and fresh at all times. No one wants to get intimate with someone who smells and does not look good—it’s a sign of respect to your partner.

BUT WHAT IF just taking a bath isn’t enough?

For women  there is such a condition called  Bacterial vaginosis (BV). It is an infection of the vagina that results from a change in the normal balance of vaginal bacteria. BV usually doesn’t cause any other health problems. But it can lead to issues such as vaginal itching

Thin, gray, white or green discharge, burning during urination, and a foul-smelling “fishy” vaginal odor–and that is just like a light switch that could turn any partner off. 

BV can be caused by antibiotics, Sexual activity, Hormonal changes, Smoking, Diabetes,   Stressed lifestyle, Poor or wrong intimate hygiene,  underwear and intimate sanitary products

Odor caused by BV isn’t just a turnoff it can be a serious threat to womens’ vaginal health, as lactobacilli dominated vaginal microbiota is essential for womens’ intimate health. To make things a bit simple think of it just like the good bacteria for your stomach. The good thing is that there is a sustainable solution to restore and maintain a healthy microbiota and it’s called Ecovag. 

Vaginal probiotics, like Ecovag, have been clinically documented to eliminate symptoms of vaginal discomfort and reduce the risk of re-current BV. It has emerged as a very promising sustainable solution to restore and maintain a healthy balance of the vaginal flora, address intimate discomfort and prevent vaginal infections.

Here in the Philippines EcoVag probiotics is manufactured by Danish company BIFODAN and distributed locally by Zeus Resources, Inc. 

Men on the other hand, have to contend with a “harder” or should we say hard-on problem, especially for older males who seek to perform better for their partners. Another product distributed by Zeus Resources Inc is called Hydenex or sildenafil citrate. 

Hydenex, an oral therapy for erectile dysfunction, is the citrate salt of sildenafil, a selective inhibitor of cyclic guanosine monophosphate (cGMP)-specific phosphodiesterase type 5 (PDE5).

A phosphodiesterase type 5 inhibitor (PDE5 inhibitor) is a drug used to block the degradative action of cGMP-specific phosphodiesterase type 5 (PDE5) on cyclic GMP in the smooth muscle cells lining the blood vessels supplying the corpus cavernosum of the male organ. 

HYDENEX inhibits the release of PDE5 during sexual stimulation resulting in sustained erection and improved performance.

It was primarily made to help lower blood pressure, but it has a side effect that tends to help when things– your “thing” needs to get tough. Hydenex and is only available if prescribed by Doctors, and should not be taken without talking to your doctor first. 

There you have it, now you know the Do’s and Don’ts to make your Valentines special and take your relationship to an entirely different level.

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